I am in love with a particular man and I really want him to love me back. He is a friend of mine but I'm pretty sure that he thinks of me as "just a friend." I was looking through a book of spells and came across several love spells, one of which is guaranteed to make someone love you. I've heard that love spells work but also that they can backfire on you. Do love spells work and should I try this one to make this man fall in love with me?
-Loveless, Chicago, OH
I wish I could give you the answer that you want to hear, which is that you can cast a love spell and have the person of your dreams fall in love with you. Unfortunately I can't. From my years of magical practice, I know that the type of love spell you want to cast, to make a specific person fall in love with you, has a good chance of backfiring.
The reason that love spells don't work is because they break one of the fundamental rules of magical practice, rule #2 in Rules of the Road, which says:
Don't bind another being unless you are willing to be likewise bound. This applies to many love spells and some kinds of healing rituals.
It's kind of like the Golden Rule: don't do unto others what you wouldn't want them to do unto you. Think about this: would you want someone that you don't really love to bind you and make them fall in love with you? Probably not. The same holds true in your situation. If the man of your dreams doesn't love you, then binding him with a love spell may cause him to pay attention to you in the short term, but the long-term backlash could get ugly. The problem is that you'll have a hard time predicting what kind of karmic backlash would result from this kind of spell.
The good news is that you can still cast a love spell - you just need one of a different flavor. While you can't cast a spell to make a specific guy fall for you, you can cast a spell to bring a man of your dreams into your life. To start this spell, you need to first write directors and limiters, which tell your spell what you want the spell to do (directors) and what you don't want the spell to do (limiters). For instance, your directors may say that you want to attract a man who:
- is between the ages of 30 and 40
- lives within 100 miles of you
- has a steady job and earns between $x and $y
- shares similar interests as you (you might want to get specific here)
- has a certain kind of personality
- has any other desired characteristics
Your limiters may state that the man:
- does not have any pre-existing health issues
- does not have any children from previous marriages
- any other limiters you do not want to bring into a new relationship
Obviously you may not be able to think of everything to put on your list of directors and limiters, but just try to focus on the most important factors. For instance, you may find a kind temperament (with no tendencies toward violence) to be of great importance. If so, add that to your list. Also, be sure to make any numbers in your list ranges, such as "earns an income between $x and $y." This gives the spell more room to work.
One other crucial point: the more specific your list of directors and limiters the more force it will take to bring the love of your life to you. If you already feel a lot of resistance in the love-life department, you may want to start with a more general list and place fewer "demands" on your spell in the beginning. As the spell begins to attract men into your life, you can always go back and "tweak" the list until it brings you the exact right person. Love, like everything else in life, is sometimes a process. As our teacher Abraham-Hicks says, "You'll never get it done and you'll never get it wrong."
And, of course, the most important detail. What do you do once you have your list? How do you cast a safe spell? The simplest way is to use candle magic. You'll need a plate, a sun-yellow candle (preferably in glass), and your list of directors and limiters. Place your list of directors and limiters on the plate and put the candle over the list. Each day, stand in the south facing north with the candle, plate, and list in front of you. From this position light the candle with a paper or wooden match and let it burn for 30 minutes. This will "launch" your spell into the Universe so it can begin attracting your desired love. Keep following this process until you see some results, then go back and adjust the list as needed.
Want to learn more about attracting love into your life? Check out the L Is For Love Magick Kindle book; part of the Kitchen Table Magick series.
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